Get Motivated Stay Motivated

There are times in our life that we feel really really low about ourselves.  Those difficult times that we encounter that we feel like giving up.  We even wonder why it is happening and we tend to count those difficult times and feel like it’s too much already.  We even blame others or the Supreme Being for the bad fate that we are in.  It causes us to get depressed and feel low about ourself.

But when we feel happy or don’t face any big trouble at all, do we even appreciate it?  Did we thanked those who have helped us to get to this state?  We even sometimes forget those who are in need and just think of the welfare that we have.

Having those difficult times is an opportunity for us to appreciate life better.  Even the smallest blessing that we have, will have a great deal.  Those are the times that we must learn to be strong.  Instead of feeling low and pious of ourselves, it must even serve as a challenge for us to get things better.  These sufferings that we experience lets us realize how blessed we are.  Those mistakes that we did actually gives us the lesson on how to do it correctly.

Instead of grieving over our mistakes, sufferings, or difficulties in life, find a way or a reason on how to make it as a blessing.  You will then handle it easily if you think positive of those negative things that happen to you.  Be thankful for every little thing that you have in life because you are still lucky to have those compared to those who have none.  It is just the way you handle life.

If you have enough self-confidence and you know that the person you are with hasn’t got the same amount of confidence that you have, be the one to adjust.  Not all people who avoid getting into conversations are shy.  There are those who avoid eye contact and socializing with people.  But just the same, be nice and be the one to reach out to them.  Just a smile, an eye contact, or a simple hello might do.  That will help you determine who is who.

Help the person feel at ease and persuade him to speak up not by telling him directly but by making him talk more about the topic.  If you feel like that person is shy to talk to you but really has thoughts in mind to share, be the one to initiate the conversation.  When you have started the conversation, give that person the chance to speak.  Like you can ask him questions about your topic or ask what can he say about your opinion.

Think of the situation those shy people are in.  Think how hard it is for them to socialize with people.  They want to socialize but their shyness prevails.   Put yourself in their situation and think of what you can do to make them feel better.  Since you are the blessed one who got enough confidence, be kind enough to help others overcome their shyness.

Sometimes we want to change some habits of ours but we say that it is just so hard that we just accept it as it is instead of changing it.  But do you know that we can actually change it?  It is just in our brain, in our belief, or in our mind.  Our beliefs are honed by our culture, influenced by the people around us, our community, and by mass media as well.  But all these can actually be changed by adjusting our thinking.  By doing so, it can change our behavior and our personality.

How to change our thinking?  Through our subconscious mind.  We must dispose the negative thoughts in there first.  Of course, it is not that easy to erase those negative messages.  So how do we do it?  Simply by pouring in the new positive messages in our mind.  Though it may not immediately replace the negative messages, we must do it repetitiously until it replaces it.

Our subconscious mind sometimes dictates us what to do.  That dictations must be of our best interest and should be positive.  That is why we must feed positive messages in it to help us change our negative habits or thinking.  In a way, it comes as our motivator.  We just need to concentrate hard when our subconscious dictates us to do the positive way when we are doing the negative things.  Like when we feel like procrastinating, our subconscious must feed us positive message that we must do it now so that we are free later and can do other things.  We then need to focus on following our subconscious even though our body feels like not doing it.

I have watched earlier a children’s program and as usual as it is, you always get a moral lesson at the end of the story.  But this one I saw this morning really hit me.  It’s something that is so real and applies to all ages.  The story is about a man who loved this woman very much but is very shy to tell her his feelings.  They are good friends and he never told her about it.  Then he regretted it and there’s this man who gave him the opportunity to turn back time and correct his mistakes.  But in this chance, he still didn’t make it.  Still afraid to tell her his feelings and ended up alone when he got back in the present.

He still grieve for it and the man gave him another chance again.  This time, he blew it up.  Because he couldn’t really tell her directly his feelings for her, he did it by kidnapping her and brought her in a room and that is the time that he told her his feelings.  Although he did not really hurt her physically, he still did it in the wrong way.  The woman told him that she loved him also but couldn’t accept him anymore because of what he did.

So, back to the present, he end up being alone again.  Still the same, he wasted the opportunity again.  Then, as the man really wanted him to know his mistakes and correct it, he gave him his last chance.  So learning from his mistakes, he faced his fears, he told her his feelings no matter what the result would be, he was ready to accept it.  Upon telling her his feelings, she told him that she loved him also which gave him much delight.  When he got back to the present, he just woke up in bed with the woman who was his wife already.

We always here that opportunity comes only once and we must grab it.  From the story, I figured that we should not just grab it, but make good use of it as well.

Stop trying with your goal, yes.  You may wonder why is this all of a sudden.  This isn’t a good advice, huh?  Yes it isn’t in a way.  But you should stop trying if that’s what you always do.  You must not only try but you must really DO it.  Don’t just try to achieve it but rather, achieve it.  Instead of saying, “I will try to study hard,” you must say, “I will study hard.”

The thinking of just trying things out sometimes is just an excuse not to do our best.  It also lessens our confidence in doing a thing.  When we say that we should not stop trying, it means that we should not quit achieving our goals.  It doesn’t mean that we will only try things out.  Of course we will but it sometimes becomes an escape clause.  Trying things to achieve our goals is good but DOING it is better.

Reward yourself.  One of the most effective motivators is the reward.  In business organizations, employees are well motivated to work hard for good compensation, especially if given a bonus.  If they are not well compensated, they lose interest in their job and look for better ones.  But if they get enough or more than enough, they give more dedication to their work.  Sometimes, even if you don’t like the job much, or you feel bored with it, you become energized if you can get a good reward, a bonus maybe or an extra day off.

If you can’t get an extra reward from your job, and it really is a stressful week ahead of you, plan out a good way to reward yourself.  This is to console yourself of the busy week you will be facing; to motivate yourself to just work on even if you feel like procrastinating because you’ll have a nice day off after that.  You can set a schedule for vacation at the end of the week, or go to the spa, watch movie, eat and relax.  well, there are a lot of things that you could reward yourself.  Maybe buy the thing you wanted to buy most.

Another advantage of it is that you’ll be more conditioned to work after receiving the reward because you will then feel better.  If you think that it isn’t enough, then plan it the next weekend or after the next project.  Treating yourself really motivates you to work hard.

Did you know that too much high self-esteem ain’t good? Research has shown that bullies, especially those who do criminal acts, are more likely suffering from high self-esteem. Some characteristics those people possess are:

• impulse control problems
• smugness
• tends to abuse relationships
• feels superior over things

These characteristics often cause them to become attention-seeker and if they won’t get what they want, they would result to violent actions.

If you come to think of it, you would even be thankful that you have low self-esteem than high self-esteem. In some points, yes, it is better to be that one. But of course, it is not healthy as well. It would do us no good also. Just a right amount of self-esteem is better.  Just to help us face the difficulties in life and stay strong with it.  Having the right amount of self-esteem also helps us achieve our goals in life.

So how do you really motivate yourself? Two known factors that motivate humans are pleasure and the fear of pain. One good way to motivate yourself then is to know the pains and the pleasures that you will get if you will procrastinate on a certain task. This will help you realize the things that you will miss out by procrastinating and what you get in return if you forgo an opportunity.

Better yet, you can make a list of these things to make you more motivated to work. Seeing or reading it in a paper would let you imagine the outcome and would make you more motivated to gain the pleasure instead of the pain.

If you are doing a long-term task, time might discourage you as you wait longer for the result. So take a look at your lists of pain and pleasures once in a while to keep you reminded of the possible consequences. Also, you can breakdown your task into small ones so that you won’t feel the difficulty of it. Doing this will also help you take track of your progress with your task.

We are sometimes ashamed to cry for we think that it means we are weak.  It is instilled in our mind that strong people don’t cry.  Especially with the boys, they say that “boys don’t cry.”  For it means weakness and boys are supposed to be strong or/and brave.  But in reality, we all know that crying doesn’t mean that you are weak.

When we cry, we let out our emotions.  An emotion that seems to explode.  Thus, we should never be afraid nor ashamed to cry.  Did you notice that every time we cry, we feel better?  It actually lessen our depression or the negative feelings that we carry.  After crying, we feel positive and stronger to face life.  Although it is not really necessary to be with people when we cry, it is sometimes helpful to cry with the person close to us.  Especially when we need strength, we get it from them.
Crying is healthy:

Scientists have discovered that the emotional tears contain higher levels of manganese and the hormone prolactin, and this contributes in a reduction of both of these in the body; thus helping to keep depression away.  Many people have found that crying actually calms them after being upset, and this is in part due to the chemicals and the hormones that are released in the tears.

How then actually do we cry?  The psychic tears (or emotional tears) require an emotional response, or trigger to be activated.  This response can be caused by an outside source, either pain or loss of love, etc., or from an inside source (self-realization of one’s life and others).  When emotions affect us, the nervous system stimulates the cranial nerve, in the brain and this sends signals to the neurotransmitter to the tear glands.  Thus, we cry.  The largest tear gland, the lacrimal gland produces the tears of emotion and reflex.  Many believe that the body, in times of emotional stress, depends on this gland to release excess amount of chemicals and hormones, returning it to a stable state.
source: http://www.gibbsmagazine.com/CryinLaughing.htm

Goal setting, as discussed in previous posts here, helps a lot in achieving your goals. It guides you in the steps you take to achieve it and keeps you in track as well. Although some may find it inconvenient to take, or they are pressured of the goal setting thing, it is truly useful if you have something that you want to achieve.

Aside from giving you direction in life, setting your goals properly gives you more self-confidence as well. Properly-set goals are highly motivating knowing that you know what step you are taking and what to take next. You may not notice it but your self-confidence builds fast.

Self-confidence is essential if you really want to achieve your goal. It makes you more determined to continue making ways to achieve it. It also gives you the courage to face the difficulties and doesn’t give up that easily knowing that you’ll make it.